2. You experience "re-entry" issues dealing with the civilian world. Not every spouse experiences this, of course--especially those who never lived on Base and never went overseas. But the military community has its own systems and ways of doing things, and just as we adjusted when we first "married the military," there are often adjustments back... especially if you have been "in" or overseas for so long that the way some things are done have changed in your absence! (And if you aren't dealing with it for yourself, you may well be dealing with it through your children!)
3. You seriously have to restrain yourself giving the smack-down to disrespectful people during the pledge of allegiance, National Anthem, etc. Or maybe you don't. ;) These people just don't get it.
4. You have high expectations for civilian life. You may think your spouse will be home all the time and life will be grand. You may think there will always be regular hours, no weekends, and so on. But civilian jobs can have overtime and business trips too. And if there aren't trips, adjusting to being home every night can also be more difficult than you might expect, after many years of getting used to your spouse being gone frequently. This speaks to "re-entry" (above), of course, but what I'm talking about here specifically is expectation vs. reality. Many former military have such high hopes for civilian life, and it doesn't always work out the way they envision. A friend once told me she knew of several divorces primarily caused by such unrealistic expectations. (There may have been other underlying issues too, obviously, but the transition to civilian life was the catalyst.)
5. Speaking of expectations, a big one talked about a lot among military folks is the idea that when you become a civilian you will make much more money. This is often not true, especially during the first few years. Many civilian jobs will start you as something resembling "entry level," in spite of your years of military experience. You may have been receiving tax breaks or discounts in utilities, etc. that you will no longer receive. There will be greater costs in medical--yes, even if you choose Tricare Prime (the retiree version has co-pays, as well as an annual fee). And it's highly likely that you will have to move in order to obtain a decent job. The military will move you one last time, if you can line up that job before you retire, but as we all know the military doesn't cover everything--there are always, always additional expenses associated with moving. Hopefully it won't be more than a few years before you are back up to what you were making before you "got out," if not more, but the transition can be harder than you think, especially if you didn't expect it (see #4!).
6. Remember those 30 days of annual leave? Granted, you weren't likely to take advantage of them every year, but when you were able to it was awesome! You also say goodbye to federal holidays, family days, and wing goal days (or your branch of the military equivalent--those were the terms in the Air Force). Again, even if you didn't get them often due to deployments, TDYs, or essential duty, sometimes you did. As a civilian, you won't. We all know we are giving those up when we leave the military, but knowing doesn't make it any less hard.
7. Don't be surprised if you tear up at things that never used to bother you before--seeing the type of plane fly by on which your husband (or wife) used to fly, hearing Taps, seeing a unit march by in uniform in a parade, etc. No matter if you don't really miss your military life, it was your LIFE, and it stays under your skin. :)
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