College Graduation Tips (for parents)

College Graduation (for Parents)

Things we Wish we had Known!!!

Keep in mind that these are all from the perspective of parents whose adult child attended a college far from home.  If you end up living in the same town (or at least easy driving distance) from your childrens' college, most of these will probably be a non-issue for you!

1.BOOK YOUR HOTEL(S) AT LEAST A YEAR OUT!  You can always cancel the reservation(s) if your plans change, but if you wait too long you won't be able to get a room at all!  We were warned that the ONE hotel in my son's college town books out at least a year in advance, so we decided to "be on the safe side" and book our room at the hotel out of town where we stayed those few times we were able to visit him... and a YEAR out we got the very last room available.  Grandparents were forced to book hotels elsewhere.  Had we been better prepared, we may have booked 2 years out and requested 3 rooms so we could have all shared the same hotel.

2.  PLAN TO BE THERE A FULL DAY AHEAD!  Maybe it was just a difference in the schools, or my own lack of attention, but for my own Graduation xx years ago, I don't remember there being any special events beyond Graduation Day itself.  My son's college had the best and most personalized events (in the individual academic departments) a full day prior to the actual graduation, on a Friday.  Since my son's college was so far away, we had already planned out our trip long before we were notified of any Friday event(s).  Thankfully my in-laws were able to attend, and they took a few photos for us at least, but I really wish we had known far enough in advance to be able to plan better
for it. 

3.  YOU MAY NEED TO PLAN AHEAD FOR LUNCH.  My son's graduation was at 10 a.m. and took approximately two hours.  But oddly, the cafeteria was closed and there was nothing at all planned following the ceremony (except an alumni sales booth, selling t-shirts and such LOL).  I see this as very poor planning by the college, but I doubt they are the only college to do this, and had I thought it through I think I may have arranged to bring a picnic lunch or something.  Because we were all starving by the time it ended and when we finally were able to reconnect with our son in the mass of people, what few photos we have are rushed, and son wasn't able to connect with any of his friends for congratulations, farewells, and the quintessential graduation photos in gowns.  For colleges in larger towns, you may need to make restaurant reservations far in advance (both for graduation day and the night before).

4.  WHEN THE COLLEGE SAYS BE THERE EARLY, THEY MEAN TO BE THERE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY EARLY!!  Graduation information submitted by the college requested everyone to be seated by 9:30, and also stated that doors opened at 9 (for the 10 a.m. ceremony).  We arrived at the college at 9, but by that time parking was packed and there was no line waiting to get in so they evidently opened the doors prior to the stated time (perhaps because of the unseasonably cold May weather).  It only took us 15 minutes or so to get parked and get into the building, but the only seats left by that time were "nosebleed seats" in the bleachers, at the farthest possible distance from the stage.  If you want a decent seat, I'd plan to be there at least one hour prior to when they say the doors open, maybe 2 or 3.  Sad but true.  Also, fwiw, requesting handicapped seating doesn't help at all.  My mother-in-law has issues with her hip, so we wanted to be sure she could be seated on the floor.  She was, but she was likewise in a far distant corner of the gymnasium where graduation was held, so their view was as bad or worse than ours was.

5. IF YOU or YOUR CHILD IS GETTING A GRADUATE DEGREE, YOU MAY NOT WANT TO BOTHER.  Another sad but true factoid, which also may (I hope) vary by the college.  Son's college had a list of a dozen or so people receiving Master's Degrees in the same ceremony.  Only 3 or 4 of them bothered to show up, and we quickly learned why--the entire ceremony was Bachelor focused, and the graduate degree recipients were barely mentioned at all.  The only "special recognition" they received was getting their degrees first, which meant the handful of families who came for them were able to leave instead of sit through the list of 700+ undergrads.  Sad.  Ask the college to be sure, but if yours is lumping the graduates in with the undergrad hoards it really may not be worth it.

10 Realistic Ways to Save Money

Dedicated to my friend Bonnie, with whom I completely agree that most of these lists from "experts" are ridiculous.  ;)

1. Plan your grocery list and menu with the newspaper, and be willing to stop at more than one store. The first should be obvious, but the 2nd takes a bit more planning and work (and I know isn't always possible due to time and distance).  My mom always used to plan her menus with the newspaper advertisements, reading carefully to learn what was on sale where.  You will inevitably need to buy some things each week that are NOT on sale, but if you plan your menus as much as possible to line up with sale items, you may be surprised how much easier it is to stick to a budget!  These days you don't even have to spend the money on the paper in many places--I get the grocery ads free by mail every week.

2.  Use coupons and store loyalty cards.  Coupons are a mixed blessing, in my opinion.  They can save you money, but they steal away your time instead, reading through stacks of worthless coupons for those few that may be of benefit to you.  If you have the time and patience, however, there's no doubt that you can save quite a bit using the coupons.  The benefit of store loyalty cards depends on where you live.  Some of them are useless.  Some of them allow you to get sale prices on things, and may even save you on gas.  We use the Winn Dixie card, for example, and are usually able to fill up our van at least once a month with a savings of around $1 off per gallon of gas.  This is a typical monthly savings of at least $17 for us!  I know Giant Eagle stores have a similar program.  Check to see what your local stores offer--it usually costs nothing to obtain a grocery loyalty card.

3. Learn ways to stretch, reuse, and save food after you buy it.  Talk to other thrifty mamas or check one of the many recipe or grocery savings websites--they have great ideas!  You can stretch your milk budget by purchasing whole milk and watering it down.  You can water it down as much as half and it will taste just like one or two percent milk.  Yes, you are spreading out some of the nutrients too, but most of the nutrients in store-bought milk are already artificially added back anyway.  You can also freeze store-bought milk, if you ever see it on sale.  Invest in a freezer, if you have space for one, and freeze leftovers too.  I know many families who make large quantities whenever they cook and immediately freeze portions for later meals--viola, homemade "convenience" meals for the microwave!  When you plan your meals, try to think about what you will do with the leftover potatoes or chicken or whatever in the next meal.  We've started buying rotisserie chickens (because they are actually cheaper than raw whole chickens!), and shredding the leftovers to use in chicken burritos or tacos.

4.  Farm your own food.  This one should be obvious, yet somehow many money saver articles fail to mention it.  You obviously can't garden large scale if you live in the city, but you may still be able to grow a tomato in a pot on your balcony, or have a small herb garden.  If you live in the suburbs, you need to check with your HOA before you buy, but if you have the patience and rules allow it you may want to think about purchasing a couple of chickens (for eggs) or a goat (for milk).  Plant a fruit tree or grow a small vegetable garden in your back yard.  Use pots, if necessary.  And don't forget to look around your neighborhood when you are out running errands--sometimes businesses will have nut or fruit trees on their property that are neglected.  If you ask them, some may allow you to come and harvest the trees in exchange for keeping it neat!  It's a win-win, since you get free produce and the business doesn't have to pay for someone to clean all that up when the tree drops its harvest!

5.  Another tip that should be obvious yet rarely seems to appear on the mainstream savings articles is clothing choice.  Learn to ignore fashion.  Seriously.  If you are constantly trying to keep up with the latest fad, you may as well attach a vacuum cleaner to your wallet.  But don't be fooled into thinking you will save money shopping at stores like Wal-Mart, which typically have very poor quality.  Spend a little more to be sure you have well-made clothing, but then wear it forever.  If it stains, try to fix the stain with cleaning or coloring or bleaching.  If it tears, sew it up.  If you lose a button, start a button box (new buttons are much less expensive than a new shirt, and used buttons cost nothing--so don't forget to clip off the buttons before you throw away a worn-out shirt!).  Yes, eventually it may wear out beyond repair, or get a tear that is too obvious to be fixed, but if you have good quality clothing this should take several years at least!  Better still, don't buy new clothing at all.  Thrift shops and consignment shops have become very popular these days.  Home yard and garage sales can be treasure mines for quality used clothing.  These are especially good resources for children, whose sizes change on what seems like sometimes a daily basis!  Don't forget to save outgrown clothing, if you have younger children.  I wouldn't force a boy to wear his sister's clothing, or a girl to wear her brother's, but same sex children may actually love wearing a loved older sibling's former outfits.  Remind him how much older brother loved that spiderman shirt, and it will be even more special to him.

6.  Before you buy a car, look carefully at the expenses.  A used car will save you money on insurance and purchase price, but if you are constantly pouring money into repairs it may not be worth it in the long run.  Weigh carefully, and research brands to see which ones hold their value and don't need as much repair in the long term.  Don't forget to check mpg values, with the price on gas soaring!  Shop carefully for insurance also, and check with your agent every year or two to find out which items can be reduced or removed (especially once the car is paid off, if it was under financing).  Then once you have the car, of course, don't forget the obvious benefit of combining errands and car pooling.  Even one trip you save by sharing a ride with a friend is money in your pocket!

7.  One thing I agree with the "experts" about is to look at your entertainment budget.  What, you don't budget for entertainment?  You really should.  Track what you spend on entertainment in a month--if you aren't budgeting it, you may be spending a lot more than you realize.  Internet can be argued these days as a need rather than entertainment, especially if you have kids in the house--they use it for school, communication, research, etc.  So personally I wouldn't count that.  But if you have cable TV, that's entertainment.  So is Netflix.  So is money you spend at Redbox and other movie rental places.  So is that "smart" phone--you need a phone, but it doesn't have to be smarter than you just to make calls!  "Stupid" phones are usually much cheaper--ask your cellular provider.  Going to the movies, bowling, zoos, theme parks, plays, museums, shows, carnivals, even sports or dance lessons if it's purely for the fun of it--all entertainment.  Prioritize, and set an amount you can spend each month, then stick with it.  Personally I believe you should try to keep at least one physical entertainment like sports, dancing, swimming, bowling, gym membership, etc.--it's exercise, which is good for you!!  I would try to budget at least a little bit to do one or two FUN things each month too, if you can.  It doesn't have to be a lot--renting a movie or attending a local parade or show can be inexpensive.  But we need such fun things in our lives.  If you still feel chained to the house, try to create a game club--remember when people used to visit each other just to play cards?  That's a tradition well worth reviving, and the expense is very minimal.

8. Use every trick in the book to save money on heating and cooling costs.  Sure, everyone knows about turning the a/c up as hot as you can stand it in the summer, and turning the heat down as cool as you can stand it in the winter.  But have you checked your doors for drafts lately?  Weather stripping is inexpensive, but makes a HUGE difference in how much of that temperature-controlled air gets away from you!  You can also purchase or make "snakes" to lie at the bottom of doors to stop that draft.  Windows should seal tightly; if they don't it may be time to reseal or replace your windows.  If you can't afford new windows, you can buy inexpensive "shrink wrap" to seal off your windows in winter--as someone who used to live in North Dakota, I can assure you that it makes a huge difference!  If you live in a hot climate, be sure to have good blinds and/or heavy drapes to close out the sun during the day.  If the window doesn't get direct sun, sheer curtains are good enough to block part of the heat while still letting in some natural light.  Also be sure to check your attic, and if/when you can afford it ensure that you have adequate insulation and ventilation.  It will make a difference in the long term.

9.  I hate to mention this, because I love having pets too, but another big way to save a LOT of money is to limit your pets.  Veterinary care has become outrageously expensive, just like everything else these days.  But if you own a pet, you should care for them well, and not skip this expense.  Try to find an affordable vet and food that is acceptable quality without being unnecessarily gourmet.  You may be able to save by making your own pet treats and purchasing some medications and things online or through a pet superstore.  But the best way to limit this expense is to set a strict limit on the number of animals with which you share your home.  Our limit is two; we have cats.  Decide what kind of pets you like and what an appropriate number for you will be--it won't be the same for everyone, and of course large animals cost more than small ones, but give it careful consideration and don't be too easily swayed by that adorable face in a pet store window!


10.  And lastly, learn to do more things for yourself, or live without it!  Yes, this includes making your own meals instead of going out, and brewing your own coffee (and adding your own flavored creamers) instead of buying the insanely overpriced coffee shop coffee.  But I am honestly surprised at how many people I've met who are struggling financially yet take regular trips to the hair salon, nail salon, or other places that to me are luxuries.  I've been married for 25 years and in all that time have been to a hair salon maybe 5 or 6 times.  I learned to cut, color, and even perm my own hair when we were first married.  Cutting may not work for you if your hair is layered or thick, but the coloring or perming is really not that hard, I promise!  If you want a facial or painted nails, buy the materials and do it yourself!  Granted you won't have cute designs painted on your nails, but personally I'd rather have that money for other things.  And unless you need it medically for chronic pain, skip the massages too.  Yes, they are wonderful--what luxury isn't?  You can live without it.

Why I'm glad we bought a house

Why I'm glad we "bought" a House

Yes, bought is in quotes, because I've always thought that a funny name for signing your life away to a bank and holding a mortgage until you move (most likely) or the house is actually paid off .  Technically, you are renting-to-own, from the Bank!  There are definitely times I wonder if we did the right thing "buying," but there are definitely advantages to "owning," some of which I thought I'd point out here.  :)


1. I'll start with the obvious... there is hope that we will live here long enough, and the neighborhood will grow and improve enough, and that luck will be on our side so that we might actually make a dollar or two when we are ready to move out.  There is never any guarantee of this, as millions learned the hard way when the housing bubble burst, but the "investment" is always the number one reason the "experts" always tell you when you ask about purchasing over renting.  There are people who have made thousands of dollars in home sales, so it can happen!  Of course it's never happened to us, but hope springs eternal. ;)

2. We can decorate however we please.  When you rent, there are always restrictions on painting, hanging things, putting up wallpaper, etc.  When you "own" the home yourself, you can decorate in whatever weird and wild way suits your own personal fashion sense.  All you need to do is find a buyer who likes it too, or be willing to change it back to boring renter colors (when you are ready to move out).

3. There is a certain amount of pride and accomplishment in owning a home.  It is part of the traditional American Dream, after all!  When you own a home, you feel like you are genuinely a "grown up" and that you have "arrived" at a certain level of financial and life success.  As long as you can maintain that mortgage and keep paying the bank for the privilege of living there, you can brag to people that you "own" your own house!  Someday, if you live there long enough, you really will own it outright, and you can even pass it on to your children or grandchildren!

4. One of the nicest things about home ownership is that there are fewer restrictions to what you do with the home.  Some cities are trying to regulate homeowners also, granted, but in general there tend to be more restrictions when renting (from both the landlord and the government).  When you own a home, you can have as many pets as you wish, for example.  If the kids prefer to sleep 3 or 4 to a room so they can have the extra bedroom as a play room, they can do that.  If you want to install a slide in the middle of your house, your only restrictions are money and imagination!

5.  There is much more stability in home ownership.  For most people, owning a home means you never have to move until YOU want to move.  There is no landlord who is going to suddenly decide to sell your house under you; no apartment owner who suddenly decides to convert to condos; and best of all no one else who has a key to your home unless YOU give them one!   When you rent, your landlord has full rights to access your home whenever s/he wishes, and s/he can even demand inspections to ensure you are maintaining the property in the way s/he wishes.  If the home is yours, the only person you answer to is you (and your spouse, of course!).